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He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests – beyond the dating site’s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I’m really like. Sure, I get a lot of profile “views”, but no messages.
Despite his efforts, few girls ever answer his carefully crafted, very kind messages. I started out using Match.com, but then a friend told me that the success rate is much better on OKCupid, so I switched over to that. I’ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things.
Being a nice guy is probably the worst thing to be when it comes to online dating.
You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.
Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.
Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you’re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.....
To explore this topic, I pulled aside two individuals who I knew were hunting for a long-term relationship using online dating websites, and asked them about their experiences with the services.
Like, OKCupid gives you a percentage of match or non-match you are with certain people.I don’t know, maybe some girls might think of that as a compliment but personally, I would have preferred a simple message like, “Hey, would you like to talk?I saw that some of your interests were the same as mine,” or something along those lines.RD: Did you get ANY messages from guys that seemed nice at all? AW: No, but the creepy messages most likely ruined it for any decent guys that might be around.
Those messages made me run far, far away from online dating.
In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.